Sunday

The morning heralded a new start, getting up at the earlier time of 8ish(7.30 on a good weekday), using this time to finish an autobiographical book by Ernest hall that mildly mirrors my own internal struggles between passions that are wildy different. He liked piano and business, whereas I like dance and business.

With the mist and fog surrounding Ajuda instead of the basketball game me and Conrad had previosuly planned we went swimming instead, Marie came along too.

My stamina for swimming isn't great, but I did a few more lengths than I intended to do, so was reasonably happy with the effort. On arriving home, again in misty rainy fog I resisted the urge to sleep and arranged to meet a fellow teacher. I took a few buses there, missed her stop and got there half an hour late, oops.

At hers we watched a cool film called the bucket list with Morgan Freeman and Jack Nicolson all about two cancer patients completing some mad stuff before they kick the bucket. After I went to meet Pedro, a swiss bboying prodigy. We tried in vain to find somewhere to dance. We walked for close to 2 hours looking, in the brolly no good side ways rain. We walked about the investment that both our countries back home puts into aspiring national atheletes and how it isnt matched with bboying. He is going to be an international bboy, closing towards 25 and with my recent year or so with very little training I'm losing any determination that was once there to get there. Dancing for love, not glory.

At the end of the night we wondered into the adidas shop near the Benfica stadium, that we had walked around nearly twice. We walked inside, warmth. So nice. I sat down, or rather collapsed down. Mental and physically tired. We further the chat on how when we are older we are certain we would be able to afford dance studio time, the irony is that there are very few bboys with the ability or the botheredness to want to do it in their 30s. I know I'd much prefer to do it all now, or at least in my twenties.

On the way home I think about the fact that when I am not with driven people, who piss on my own miserable goals, I don't push myself much. Mental note to keep trying in life.